Sibling Rivalry

Health article

Maintain a healthy level of supervision

 The first thing to do is to supervise without getting constantly involved. This is a good opportunity for kids to learn to work out problems on their own. Resentment could also build if one child thinks their brother or sister is being protected. If you do step in, try to resolve problems with your kids, not for them. For example, help them express their feelings instead of name calling. Wait until the emotions have subsided before doing this and don’t put too much focus on figuring out which child is to blame. It takes two to tango!

Develop some ground rules

To help reduce the amount of rivalry, try developing rules of acceptable behaviour, such as no hitting or yelling. Regular family meetings to review the rules are helpful. Also, set up schedules for things like computer time. Giving your children one-on-one time doing something they are interested in (such as reading or going bowling) can help reduce resentment. And providing kids with their own space in your home gives them room to be on their own, even if it is just a desk.

Remind them of how important they are

Finally, have fun with your kids and let them know you love them and that they are safe and important.

“When sibling rivalry results in broken skin or bleeding, or children fight more than they get along or if there is verbal, emotional or sexual abuse this is not considered normal,” says Dr. Amirali. “In these cases it is wise to talk with your doctor, who can help you determine whether your family might benefit from professional help.”